Movies in 2012: Parts 4 and 5

Movies I will see if I get the time.

It's pretty difficult to see all the movies I do want to, so these movies will be the ones that I hope to see, but if I don't end up having the time then I'll catch them on DVD, Netflix or a premium channel.

Cloud Atlas, The Wachowski Siblings & Tom Tykwer, October 2012.

2008 was the last time the Wachowski sibling's were behind the camera as director for Speed Racer. Back then they were the Wachowski brother's. Since then, Laurence Wachowski, has become Lana Wachowski, and they are no longer the brother's, but are referred to as just the Wachowski's. Finally, after years of not really doing anything but changing sexes and what not, they are back directing Cloud Atlas with other notable Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run).

I'm not really sure what the movie is about other than it's an adaptation of a novel with the same name that follows several different story lines that span centuries of time from the past, present and future. It's been described as un-filmable, but the Wachowski's are no strangers to taking on a risk, or taking off a penis, so we'll see how it goes. I just hope the film doesn't prove to be a visual triumph and a waste of time otherwise. With Tom Hanks, Susan Surandon, Halle Barry, Hugh Grant, and other notables attached, it should be worth at least a watch. Apparently members of the cast will be switching sexes as well so we'll see how that goes. My anticipation for this may grow if the buzz around it is positive, but otherwise it just makes me feel like it's going to be another Watchmen.

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III, Roman Coppola, TBD 2012.

Well Charlie Sheen is back acting again and this time, he's teamed up with Roman Coppola in the comedy A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III. Apparently, he still can't get away from playing characters that share his exact same name, and it sounds like he'll be playing someone who is out of control because the movie is about a graphic designer who's life unravels when his girlfriend breaks up with him. Even though it doesn't sound like he'll have to do a lot of acting, it is exciting to see him back working, and with Bill Murray in the 3rd Murray movie of the year. Mary Elizabeth Winstead also stars as what I'm guessing is Sheen's girlfriend. It sound pretty interesting, and Roman Coppola tends to be a little bit more like his sister Sofia, then his father, so it should be a pretty artistic and dark comedy.

Five Year Engagement, Nicholas Stoller, April 27th.

I've actually already seen this movie and if I hadn't seen it already it would be in a probably still see the opening weekend category because I'm such a huge Jason Segel fan. I saw a screening of this film last fall and it was very funny, but like every Apatow production, had a lot of improv in it. So a lot of the jokes will be cut and the movie will be a lot more seamless. I'm anxious to see the changes they made and see how the movie turned out but I highly recommend that you go see it when it comes out. The movie has a great cast with good supporting characters as well, so it's worth your time. Also if you're anything like me, then Emily Blunt's accent makes you melt.

Lockout, James Mather & Steven St. Ledger, April 13th.

I don't know how to feel about this movie. I love Guy Pierce, but hate Maggie Grace. At first it looked like The Fifth Element and now it looks like the new Total Recall. It will come down to the reviews as to whether or not I end up walking to the movie theater here in Burbank in a few weeks to see this one. Guy Pierce needs to be in more things, and he's always just right there, one step away from being that blockbuster star, but he never officially makes it there. Hopefully this movie is good and he takes a few steps forward instead of taking them back.

Gravity, Alfonzo Cuaron, November 21st.

I don't really know much about this movie other than the fact that Sandra Bullock is in space trying to make it back to earth to reach her daughter. I normally wouldn't give a shit about a Sandra Bullock movie but she's trying really hard to remain a serious actress and Cloon-Tang is also attached as the male lead so it could be alright. Cloon-tang usually makes good decisions.

The Silver Lining's Playbook, David O. Russell, November 21st.

Famed asshole director David O. Russell takes on another project with another monster cast that has the potential to get him an Oscar nomination. Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert DeNiro, Julia Styles, and Chris Tucker form a very interesting cast that has the potential to be great. Problems with it are that Robert DeNiro's past few years have included lots of movies you don't want to talk about, Julia Styles entire career as included a lot of movies you don't want to talk about, it's Chris Tucker's first role since Rush Hour 3, and David O. Russell is a pompous asshole.

Sure lots of directors have been known to get frustrated on a set and take it out on their performers, but he went off the deep end when he freaked out at Lily Tomlin on the set of I Heart Huckabees breaking lamps, throwing papers and kicking things while calling Tomlin a “cunt” and a “child.” Nice guy George Clooney beat the shit out of him on the set of Three Kings after O. Russell grabbed him by the throat because Cloon-tang was standing up for the crew and extras. I talked to the guy on the phone during my internship and the guy was even smug when talking to me. "Hi, it's David, you know, David O. Russell." Fuck that guy, he's nothing special and if you ask me, the one problem that The Fighter had was that it was directed and edited terribly. Put Scorsese at the helm of that movie and you have a Best Picture of the year.

Still with the cast, and his track record, it may be worth watching. I'll still forever hate that douchebag, because my philosophy is if Cloon-tang doesn't get along with you, then I probably wont either.

Celeste and Jesse Forever, Lee Toland Krieger, TBD 2012.

A sundance comedy in which Celeste (Rashida Jones) gets divorced with Jesse (Andy Samberg) and they try to remain best friends in the process. Elijah Wood apparently plays their gay best friend so it has the potential to be a very comical indie comedy.

Hope Springs, David Frankel, August 10th.

This dramedy as a great cast and is about an old defunct couple played by Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones, and their trip to an intense counseling weekend, ran by Steve Carrell. I tend to not care about most Meryl Streep movies, they usually don't interest me much but I do love Steve Carrell so I may end up giving this one a shot depending on the reviews.
 
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Lorene Scafaria, June 22nd.

Another Steve Carrell movie that also stars Keira Knightly, that's about them trying to spend their last few weeks on the world happy before the world ends. It's essentially a road trip movie as Knightly wants to get to her family, and Carrell wants to connect with his long lost love. At first I thought it looked kind of dumb and one of those family humor filled Carrell films but then I noticed that it was Rated R and now I have some hopes that it will surprise me.

Les Miserables, Tom Hooper, December 14th.

Another screen adaptation of the classic broadway musical but with a great director in Tom Hooper (The King's Speech) and a huge cast including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Amanda Seyfried. It has very high expectations and could be a contender during the Awards season. My personal hope is that it won't take the route of Sweeney Todd and focus more on the acting than the music, because the music in Les Mis is truly beautiful, and they completely ruined Sweeney Todd.

Rock Of Ages, Adam Shankman, June 15th.

A summertime musical with lots of stars and has a buzz as big as Hairspray and Mama Mia's. Apparently Kevin Nash is in it so that's pretty cool.

Magic Mike, Steven Soderbergh, June 29th.

Typically I wouldn't want to see a movie about male strippers. I guess you could call me straight... But this movie does actually interest me because it's loosely based on Channing Tatum's actual life for he was a male stripper before he was discovered and started acting. Over the past few months I have gained respect because of Haywire and 21 Jump Street so I know he can actually be funny. Soderbergh has become one of my favorite directors as well so it should be a very interesting movie that hopefully contains a bit of laughs.

Ted, Seth MacFarlane, July 13th.

I was originally very skeptical of this project and thought it was going to be very stupid considering I'm not a huge Seth MacFarlane fan and I hate the mixture of live action and animation. After seeing the red band trailer Wahlberg continued to prove he has great comedic timing and it may just actually work. Still, I have a feeling this movie will contain some big laughs, but overall be shitty. That's the way most summer comedies work out anyway. I'll look for the reviews when it gets close and make my decision on if I see it.

A Place Beyond the Pines, Derek Cianfrance, TBD 2012.

Gosling teams back up with the director of Blue Valentine in this film about a motor cycle stunt driver who decides to turn to crime in order to provide for his wife and child. This decision makes him but heads with a police officer turned politician. Other than the beautiful Gosling, the film also stars, Bradley Cooper, Ray Liotta, Rose Byrne, and Eva Mendes. Gosling never seems to disappoint these days with his decisions and always seems to be in the more interesting of films so look for this to be a smart and well acted thriller.

The Gangster Squad, Ruben Fleisher, October 12th.

Warner Brothers made the bold decision to have Zombieland and 30 Minute's or Less', Ruben Fleisher at the helm of this project considering this is a big time crime drama set in the 1940's and 50's. It follows the LAPD's attempt to stop east coast mafioso's from moving into Los Angeles. Another Gosling flick, that pairs him with Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, Emma Stone, Giovanni Ribisi, Nick Nolte and more. It has the potential to be something very sweet so lets hope it doesn't become The Black Dahlia, or Hollywoodland, two ginormic wastes of time, money, and talent.

Anna Karenina, Joe Wright, November 9th.

Keira Knightley is back to what she does best in this, which is star in period pieces. She teams back up with Joe Wright for the third time (Atonement, Pride and Prejudice) in this adaptation of Leo Tolstoy's classic novel. Also starring is Jude Law, Aaron Johnson and Kelly Macdonald it should be a good one considering Wright and Knightley's previous pairings were solid films.

Movie's that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole.

I may be a little too hard on these movies, but it's mostly just for comedic purposes.


Mostly.


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Deux, Bill Condon, November 16th.

Well, finally that terrible franchise that get's girls all warm and wet in their cooch is coming to a close. I wouldn't and couldn't be caught dead seeing this movie or giving it money in any way. The only scenario I could see where I see this movie involves me sneaking in and periodically letting off a blow horn. Thank god this will be over finally when this movie leaves theaters, at least until some other franchise takes it's stupid place.

What to Expect When You're Expecting, Kirk Jones, May 18th.

Jesus Christ. Another one of those 10 intertwining love story movies with a billion well known actors and actresses, but this time with babies and Chris Rock. This movie looks fucking stupid.

Wrath of Titans, Jonathan Liebesman, in theaters currently.

As if the first one wasn't bad enough they brought most of the cast back to make a second... I enjoy bashing my head against the wall as much as the next guy, but if I'm gonna waste my 15 dollars on something, I would much rather buy a really expensive cocktail somewhere.

Mirror Mirror, Tarsem Singh, in theaters currently.

The first of two live action Snow White movies to come out this year just came out this year. This one is the more family friendly film with a quirky sense of humor as Julia Roberts talks about crinkles and wrinkles on her face. Unless she's describing the crinkles and wrinkles on my penis, I couldn't give a fuck.

Snow White and the Huntsman, Rupert Sanders, June 1st.

The second of the two live action Snow White films is meant to be a much darker portrayal somewhat along the lines of 2011's Red Riding Hood which I know fucking sucked, even though I didn't see it. Bella Swan stars as Snow White, and Thor makes an appearance for some reason while Charlize Theron drinks from a milk saucer like a cat. If this movie is good, well you can laugh in my face. Good luck getting me to see it

The Wedding, Justin Zackham, October 19th.

Katherine Heigl is in this movie. I don't need to say anything more than that.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Jon M. Chu, June 29th.

It would take the greatest reviews ever to get me to see this. They tease you with Bruce Willis at the end of the trailer but most of his recent movies have been garbage so it's kind of only to try and draw people like me (who love Bruce Willis) there.

Step Up 4, Not Worth Looking Up the Name of the Director or the Release date.

I'm not going to look up the trailer to this one either. There are very few things I care about less than the Step Up franchise. Then again I’m not a teenage girl who just kissed a boy for the first time.
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I'm sure there are plenty more in each category that will appear out of thin air later in the year because it is still early. I could probably write a lot more but I'm pretty fucking sick of looking up this stuff and writing about it. I think I provided you with plenty of knowledge though and have given you a good amount of things to look forward to, and avoid.