Movies in 2012 Part's 2 and 3 (of 5)

Movies I will still probably see the opening weekend.

First if you haven't read the first post if you haven't. It details the films I'm most excited about.
These are in no particular order, just wrote them as I got to them.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Timur Bekmambetov, June 22nd.

This is pretty close to a movie that I will see as soon as I possibly can. This is kind of hindering on the reviews. If it's getting rave reviews like Wanted was for it's slick action and fun script then I will most definitely see it at a midnight showing. Harboring a cast of mostly unknowns, it's still got an extremely visual director in Timur Bekmambetov, and a hilarious premise that pretty much anyone cool would enjoy. I mean who doesn't smile when they imagine Abraham Lincoln fighting vampires?

Brave, Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman, June 22nd.

This newest Pixar flick centers around a Ginger Princess who's really good at archery. In her Kingdom, women aren't allowed to fight, but she fights back against that and from the trailers it looks like she'll have to kill a bear or some shit like that. Being a Pixar flick, I will definitely see it. Disney will be looking to make back a lot of money they lost on that travesty John Carter, that came out last month. Pixar will also be looking to bounce back after Cars 2 came out last summer. Sure that movie did fine at the box office, but to date it was the worst reviewed Pixar film to this date and Pixar has an outstanding reputation as the best animation company out there right now. It comes out at the same time as Abe Lincoln: Vamp Hunter, so I'll probably end up seeing both that weekend at one point or another.

The Great Gatsby, Baz Luhrmann, December 25th.

Another xmas present this year will be Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Leonardo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgarton, Tobey Maguire and Isla Fisher are the notables in this monster cast. With an xmas day release date, and a cast as potent as that, it definitely will be competing in the awards season. The problem I have with it is that for whatever god damn reason it's going to be in 3D... The Great Gatsby.... in 3D.... This is the only thing that really leaves me scratching my head. With a budget rumored around 125 million, not including the ad campaign, it will need to be really good to compete with Peter Jackson, and Tarantino.

Men In Black 3, Barry Sonnenfeld, May 25th.

I wasn't too thrilled with MIB 2 and was kind of skeptical of them making a third film. I then saw that the release date was May 25th, when Will Smith used to be the king of July 4th weekend. After seeing the trailer and adding Josh Brolin to play young agent Kay, I am now very interested to see it and will most likely enjoy it. Josh Brolin is perfectly cast and it will be fun to see Will Smith in the 60's. The thing I don't like, are the ridiculous bike things that they ride in the trailer that look like they're from 50 years in the future from now. Those things are stupid.

Argo, Ben Affleck, September 14th.

Ben Affleck has had two at bats as a director. Both times he has hit the ball out of the park. Gone Baby Gone, and The Town received lots of critical acclaim and even revived his career which was on life support because of J-lo. In his third feature, Argo, he steps outside of Boston and turns his hand to an espionage-like thriller about a hostage crisis in Iran during 1979. Starring himself, Bryan Cranston, and John Goodman, the movie has a possibility to stick out in people's minds during awards season, and be one of the better movies of the year. Hopefully Ben can go 3-3 as a director before he goes on to hopefully direct the Whitey Bulger biopic.

Total Recall, Len Wiseman, August 3rd.

Before seeing the trailer I had a very open mind when addressing the topic about whether or not they were going to do a good job remaking this. The thing is, they have been very open about explaining that it's not really a remake of the Arnold classic, and follows the short "We Can Remember it for you Wholesale" by Philip K Dick more closely. If they are going with that route then why keep the name Total Recall? Well to attract all those fans who saw and loved that movie. The problem is that all those people are going to be in for utter disappointment.

When I first heard the casting I was actually really excited. I love Colin Farrell, and making Cranston, Vilos Cohaagen you're getting someone who is undoubtedly fantastic for the part. The problem isn't in the casting, it's in the fucking CGI porn romp they have on display. Sure the original Total Recall is a bit more campy, and at times doesn't take itself very seriously, but it works. This movie is trying to be darker, but comes across more ridiculous than anything. From the looks of it, it doesn't even seem like they will be going to Mars which means we'll miss out on Quatto, and three-titted biddies, which is just sad. I'll still probably see it opening weekend, but I will grit my teeth the entire way through because I will be afraid that they will ruin everything in life for me around every corner they turn.

God Bless America, Bobcat Goldthwait, May 11th.

I should probably move this up to movies that I will see the second I can because this move goes on demand on April 6th and I fully don't plan on waiting over a full month to see it because it looks that hilarious. Bobcat Goldthwait is probably the darkest comedy writer/director out there and if you've seen World's Greatest Dad then you know what I'm talking about. In this movie, the Joel Murray plays a middle aged man who comes down with brain cancer and is fed up with societies bullshit. After watching a bad reality television show with a prissy bitch he sets out on a mission to rid the world of all the most detestable people. Along the way he meets a 16 year old girl who becomes his sidekick. It's definitely going to be a sick movie not for all people, but if you hate reality television and all that pop culture bullshit that slowly cooks our brains, then you will enjoy this fantasy where you see it get wasted by a pissed of dude.

Safe, Boaz Yakin, April 27th.

Not to be confused with Safe House, this flick finds Jason Statham running around the streets of New York protecting a child who knows a secret code that the mob needs. The police are corrupt as well so it's Statham Vs. Everyone. Sure the quality of Statham movies have dropped a little bit recently, but I don't really attribute that to him, and more of the writers. I don't have any hopes for this to be anything special, but every Statham movie promises a few shirtless fighting scenes, and some cheesy one liners.

Lincoln, Steven Spielberg, December 2012.

*Not to be confused with the one that hunts vampires*

This movie has been in talks for years. Originally having Liam Neeson in the part of Lincoln, who looks exactly like him, they unfortunately lost him and had to cast some guy named Daniel Day Lewis... Shucks... Yeah... just kidding. It'd be difficult to find an actor in this world any better than Daniel Day Lewis and anyone who understands how amazing it is that he's teaming up with Spielberg is a good person. Not to mention the rest of the cast which isn't so bad either. Sally Field, JGL, Tommy Lee Jones, Jackie Earle Haley, John Hawkes, Walton Goggins, James Spader and Jared Harris are the other notables.

With a cast as rich as Lincoln's it's sure to be a big contender during next year's award season. Spielberg has said that the film details the last few months of his life rather than his entire stint as a President which is great because it has a distinct focus. Long drawn out biopics tend to be messy and aren't as effective as short ones. Hence why J. Edgar was panned, and My Week With Marilyn was praised (even though I hated it). It will probably be around 3 hours long, and isn't really the midnight screening type of flick, but it will be tough to keep me away from this one for too long.

Looper, Rian Johnson, September 28th.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a big time star on the rise. As you may have noticed, to this point I've referred to him as JGL because it's faster and he seems to be everywhere these days. In this Sci-Fi/Action he plays a bounty hunter who kills people sent back in time. Time travel films are tricky and often times don't work, but it's got great acclaim surrounding it. Basically in this movie which is set in the not so distant future time travel hasn't been invented, but a few decades ahead of that it has- so a crime syndicate sends the people they want killed back in time and they are killed and disposed of before they are even in the system because they aren't born. JGL's character stops one day as he finds one of the people he is meant to kill is his older self. His older self is played by Bruce Willis, so it has a lot of potential to be a great pop corn flick this upcoming fall.

To Rome With Love, Woody Allen, April 20th.

After the success of his film Midnight in Paris, my favorite film of last year, Woody Allen is back, and this time he's exploring a new city, Rome. Also starring in his first movie since 2006's Scoop, To Rome With Love follows several different storylines between American people there and Italian folks, and the relationships and romances they develop. Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Paige, Alec Baldwin, Penelope Cruz, and Greta Gerwig are some of the other notable cast. While I'm sure it won't be as magical as Midnight in Paris, I hope he continues on pace making good films and doesn't fall back into his lull of "decent, but nothing special" movies that had been going on for over a decade.

The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson, October 12th.

The creepiest place in the world I've ever been was the Author Services Inc. building in Hollywood when I worked as a production assistant on the Hollywood Christmas parade. Every wall in the 5 stories was covered by enlarged framed book covers L. Ron Hubbard's books. His books on display in every corner and people in every room with wide smiles and lifeless eyes. Author Services Inc. is a company that represents writers and makes sure they receive the most money they possibly can out of everything they write. It was created by L. Ron Hubbard and everyone who worked there was a Scientologist.

It felt like walking in the Twilight Zone. Like I was being followed by eyes that couldn't be seen and everyone was communicating with each other telepathically, hiding secrets with their smiles. This basically describes the way I feel about Scientology, and that is why this film, The Master, looks very interesting to me.

Not that any film starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman (PSH) that's directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (PTA) wouldn't get my attention, but it's about a man who creates a faith based organization that makes him rich. I don't know if it's necessarily as concrete as that, but from everything I've heard, it sounds more like it exploits the bad side of Scientology although they have shied away from those rumors recently. Joaquin Phoenix makes his way back into the acting world, while Amy Adams, and Laura Dern lend supporting hands.

Hyde Park on Hudson, Roger Mitchell, December 7th.

In 2012 we're extremely lucky. We get, not one, not two, but three Bill Murray movies. This one is his only lead, in which he gets to strap on his serious boots and hopefully contend for an Oscar again. The coolest man in the world will be portraying Franklin Delano Roosevelt as the story centers around a love affair between him and his distant cousin, one weekend in 1939 when the King and Queen of the of the U. K. were visiting in upstate NY. While you may not think that the guy from What About Bob?, Stripes and Meatballs could portray a former world leader he looks exactly like him, and is a world class actor. He should've won for Lost in Translation back in 2003 but instead fucking Sean Penn won for Mystic River. First of all, fuck that guy, second of all fuck that movie. I hope Murray blows everyone away like I know he can and can hoist a Golden statue this upcoming February.

Seven Psychopaths, Martin McDonagh, TBD 2012.

Reuniting with Colin Farrell, Martin McDonagh's latest flick is about a screenwriter who accidentally gets tangled up in the criminal underworld of Los Angeles after his buddies kidnap a gangster's shih tzu. Martin McDonagh's zany sense of humor and Farrell's sharp tongue are what made In Bruges such a great film. Look for a lot more comic dialogue between a great cast including, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell, Olga Kurylenko, Abbie Cornish and Tom Waits. I doubt this one will receive as much acclaim as In Bruges but I have a good feeling that it will be a really dark, funny, and fun movie. Unfortunately since it's set in Los Angeles it may not be as easy to fit "cunt" into as many lines.

The Wettest County, John Hillcoat, August 31st.

There are various things to worry about for this movie. One of those things is not the cast. Tom Hardy, Shia LeBeouf, Gary Oldman, Guy Pierce, Jessica Chastain, Mia Wasikowska, and Jason Clarke round out the principle cast. The movie centers around three brothers (Hardy, LeBeouf, and Clarke) who work as bootleggers in depression era Virginia. Gary Oldman plays their boss, and Guy Pierce plays the officer trying to take down the brothers.

With a cast as talented and a great premise why would I be worried? Well John Hillcoat's movies have never been received all that well by audiences, and The Road was a big time failure even when it was originally very highly anticipated. Another thing to ponder is the decision to move the movie back from April to the end of August, where movies go to die. It's rare that a good movie is released in late August, and it's never a good sign when a movie is pushed back. The production company has said that they moved the movie back to late summer so they can ride the post- Dark Knight Rises reputation that Tom Hardy will have. There's too much going for this movie to not at least intrigue me, so you'll find me at the theater checking that one out opening weekend.

Safety Not Guaranteed, Colin Trevorrow, June 8th.

This indie comedy centers around a team of magazine writers who go out to investigate a peculiar classified ad that reads "*Wanted* Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke, You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before." Aubrey Plaza is an intern on the team, who investigates and becomes intertwined in the man's (Mark Duplass) time travel fantasy. The trailer kind of sets it up to be a feel good indie comedy but from what I've read it was going to be very hard to market the right way. Look for this movie to be dark, and quirky. I have a great respect for Mark Duplass who's become one of my favorite people working in this industry between acting and directing. He knows how to tell a very unique story, and he does so through directing as well as acting. Oh and he's just hilarious in The League.

Dark Shadows, Tim Burton, May 11th.

It wouldn't be a live action Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp, who plays Barnabus Collins, a man turned into a Vampire and cursed by a witch to sleep for a few centuries. He wakes up and finds himself in the 1970's and integrates himself back into his family who still lives in the mansion, and fights a financial war against the witch who cursed him, played by the ever so lovely Eva Green. Michelle Pfieffer, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jackie Earle Haley, and of course Helena Bonham Carter also star in this stylized period piece. It's the first Tim Burton film I've been excited for in quite some time after being let down in many recent years. It has a very fun feel to it and looks like it will finally put him back in my good graces (not that, that matters much to him anyway).

Frankenweenie, Tim Burton, October 5th.

The second Tim Burton flick of the year is stop animation a remake of Tim Burton's own short film from 1984 with the same name. The story is about a child who isn't ready to let go of his dead pet dog, so he brings it back to life Frankenstein style. Every time Burton has stepped into the stop animation world he has turned up something unique and fun, so this should be a nice family treat.

Killing Them Softly, Andrew Dominik, September 21st.

Brad Pitt reunites with Andrew Dominik (The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford) to make their second film together. Many people believe Pitt's performance in The Assassination of Jesse James is the best of his career, and was very under appreciated during the awards season back in 2007. So it may be obvious why Pitt would want to work with Dominik again so he can finally get that Oscar that's alluded him for so long.

In Killing Them Softly, Pitt plays an enforcer investigating a heist that went down during a mob poker game. With other mob notables like James Gandonfini and Ray Liotta attached it should be a pretty good flick and has the possibility to stick out in our minds come January of 2013.

This is 40, Judd Apatow, December 21st.

This is 40 is a sequel to Knocked Up but it follows Paul Rudd's family instead of Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl who aren't even rumored to be in it. This makes me happy because I hate Katherine Heigl and absolutely loved Paul Rudd's character. Who knows how it will fare being released around Christmas time, but Apatow directed movies have always managed to make me laugh in one way or another. Even though Funny People was murdered by length and pointlessness it had great comic moments. Jason Segel is also slated to be in it so look for his funny banter as he hopefully continues to barrage Leslie Mann's character with flirtatious comments to try and get in her pants.

Neighborhood Watch, Akiva Schaffer, July 27th.

Seth Rogen teams up with Goldberg (Superbad, Pineapple Express) on a comedy about a motley crew of men who work as a neighborhood watch. Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn and newcomer Richard Ayoade star as the Neigborhood Watch who develop the group as a way to get away from their families and end up discovering a plot to destroy our planet. Rogen and Goldberg like blending action with comedy so look for some minivan chase scenes and a slew of one-liners. Hopefully it will work better than Green Hornet, because that movie sucked.

Welcome to the Punch, Eran Creevy, TBD 2012.

A British crime and action film is what was missing from this year's line up before I read about this. James McAvoy, and Mark Strong star in a movie about a notorious criminal returns to London and a detective gets the chance he's been waiting for to take down the bad guy. McAvoy and Strong are all over the place these days and British crime movies tend to strike a different chord with me so I'm definitely in.
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Movies that I will see but don't care much about.

This category marks those big time pop corn flicks that look okay but focus more on CGI then actual filmmaking.

The Avengers, Joss Whedon, May 4th.

I'm a huge Tony Stark fan, and I loved the Iron Man movies. The thing is, I don't give a shit about any of the other parts of the Avengers. I fucking hate the Hulk. The only purpose he serves is to piss me off. I slept through a majority of Captain America: The First Avenger and felt like I didn't miss a minute of it, which is never a good sign. I've heard good things about Thor but haven't gotten around to seeing that. What it comes down to is who is going to match RDJ's charisma? The entire time I'll just want the movie to be about him solely. Every moment somebody else is on the screen I'll be sad because all I want to see is RDJ. Not to mention you sign on a director who's never made a feature length film and is most notable for an episode of Glee. Who is the bad guy too? They probably could've gotten someone that people actually know considering the budget of this movie was gargantuan.

This is just another movie filled with jumbled special effects that are meant to numb our brains and please our eyes. I'll probably end up seeing it opening weekend, but I will most likely be disappointed, or be only moderately satisfied. It will probably be one of those movies you see, then forget about soon after.

The Amazing Spider-Man, Marc Webb, July 3rd.

Yep, they've rebooted Spider-Man, just 10 years ago after the Tobey Maguire series started up and 5 years after it ended. I guess if I had the ability to continually suck 10-15 bucks out of million's of people's pockets every few years I would too. So when I think about it that way, I'm only less disgusted. This stands to be another one of those "darker portrayals" trying to go along the lines of Batman Begins. The problem is, that it's Spider-Man is not known for being dark, and was always a bit cheesy. I mean, it's about a man who get's bitten by a spider then he doesn't have to wear glasses, he can climb walls, and he can shoot sticky white shit out of his forearms.

New guy Andrew Garfield plays the man with spider-like qualities, while Emma Stone, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field and Rhys Ifans round out the cast. I'm a big fan of Rhys Ifans so I'm happy with him playing a lizard (what's intimidating about a human sized lizard?).

I like the choices in casting and Marc Webb is a bold choice for director, but I just find this whole film unnecessary. Apparently this one mirrors the comic books a lot more than the Tobey ones did, so at least the story will be marginally different. Maybe Andrew Garfield and co. can hold it down and I'll be surprised, but it's another one of those movies I'll probably just say "eh" after.

Battleship, Peter Berg, May 18th.

The latest board game turned popcorn flick, Battleship looks like it's trying a little bit too hard to be a Transformers movie. Another one of those insert special effects here movies, stars a bunch of people who shouldn't be in movies like Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, and Taylor Kitsch who managed to sneak his way into the leads of two 200 million dollar productions this year (the other being John Carter) while being pretty much entirely unknown. Good thinking, people with money that fund these things. Liam Neeson also joins this cast as a ship Admiral, so that's about the only good thing this movie has going for it. The reason I will still probably end up seeing it, is because for some reason people will tell me it's great, then I'll go see it and remember that I should stop listening to anything people tell me. I'd also say there is about a 5 % chance that it could be like the first Transformers which actually didn't make me super fucking angry. We'll have to wait and find out.