As an avid cinefile there comes many times when I feel the need to wash out all the same Hollywood bullshit that studios poop out every year by taking in a series of independent films that make you think, and are actually original. They aren't filled with shitty but witty one-liners, predictable storylines and enough CGI to question whether or not a human being was actually cast in the role or not. Sometimes we just need to appreciate cinema as an art instead of well, a fart.
This weekend is not one of those weekends. This week I've shaken all my independent cinema cravings out by taking a few indie flicks in so that I'll be able to fully appreciate The Expendables 2 for what it is: a true cinematic feast of past, present and future Hollywood beefcake. This movie is a throwback to the 80's action flick, which was filled with more muscles, and bullets than anything we've had in the past decade. The first Expendables was a silly film, that was more about the allure of having the cast pieced together with all these action legends, then about the action. Now all the faces that we saw for only a few seconds in the first film have actual parts in the film and don't feel like a forced but cherished entity.
Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Lundgren, Willis, Statham, Norris, Van-Damme, Crews, Li and more? It's a wet dream come true for anyone who likes loud movies filled with swears and explosions. Now that Schwarzenegger isn't running a state for some reason, he actually has a worthwhile part in the film, and Willis manages to be in more than 2 scenes this time as well. They also got to pull in Chuck Norris and Jean Claude God-Damn. It's poetry in motion.
I'm not sure what the plot of the film is but it sounds like they just attack a country because their bored, and want to fight some bad people. I couldn't care less about what the actual plot of the movie entails but that sounds pretty cool. In reality it doesn't matter at all though.
Sometimes we need an all brawn, no brains type of movie that doesn't largely depend on special effects, superheroes, or robots that can change their shape. That's what the 1980's were all about, and it's been an empty void that us adrenaline heads filled with 24 and Michael Bay for the last few decades. These days the plots of action films are often times convoluted, and rely on puzzling the audience rather than being simple. I absolutely loved Inception, but sometimes we need an action movie that requires no thinking to enjoy. This is exactly what The Expendables 2 should offer, as well as a plethora of cheesy one-liners, and countless nostalgic references to a time when the action genre flourished.
I watched an interview with Stallone on Jay Leno the other night. Back in the 1980's when all these actors were so competitive they never would've worked together. He called everyone in the cast a "has been" for the most part and now that they're old they're all for working together and making action movie bliss come to fruition.
Now I will say that Expendables 2 is probably not a movie for all people. Namely if you are a female, an elitist snob who is incapable of enjoying life, or a child and are for some reason reading a blog entitled "Oozing Out of My Hole." To all people who know how to enjoy life, are a guy, and aren't a snob, this is THE movie to see this week.
If you are a girl or an elitist snob, go see Sparkle or some gay shit like that.
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